*Sigh* Such a bad day!

Today was my first day back to work after our first try at IVF. I started out the day very excited; my peroid started! So, I was to call the IVF nurse and let her know so I could start on BCP. Well, one of the nurses called me back an hour later (not the one I had talked to Friday who told me this) and wanted to know why I was calling her to tell her my period started. I told her about what the other nurse said on Friday, and she said that I must have misunderstood the other nurse. There was no way I could start this early. Basically, she said I have to take a month "off" and have a natural cycle before I start BCP again to let everything heal. I understand that, and am ok with that. I don't want to damange my goods any more than they already are! But, because of the wait, I won't start BCP until April, so I won't be able to do an IVF cycle in April. If I don't do it in April, I would have to wait until June! THAT pissed me off! I got really mad at this and raised my voice. We ended the conversation with I need to talk to my doctor on Wednesday, and that maybe if we do a different protocol and make my period start sooner, I can be in the April group...blah, blah, blah. I guess I have officially become the squeaky wheel.

The other part of my day makes me cry. My work. I had my yearly evaluation today. I know I have not been the best nurse I could be this past year. I know you are not supposed to bring your personal life to work. I just have too many things going on for me to keep them inside and at home all the time, and it reflects in my work. I know it does. Anyway, my boss has us do peer evaluations, and she takes those into account for her evaluation. Some of the things the other nurses said really hurt. They were just being mean. I can't wait to be a stay-at-home mom. Then I won't have to work beside people like them on a daily basis. And my boss. She has not an ounce of compassion in her. I have to find a new job. I'm just worried about switching during IVF. I'm going to look tomorrow for openings. The things I don't like about my job outweigh the things I do like about my job. Although, I love the patient population I work with. I will miss them badly if I leave. And, most of the nurses' aides, and a couple of the nurses. I just don't know what to do...